I wanted to use this space to describe fetishes that fall into the umbrella term used in psychology as Sexual Masochism “Disorder”. As the educated and supreme goddess that I am, I am using trustable sources specialized in psychology and sexology as a reference to explain concepts in a way that is objective and doesn’t come entirely as “my opinion”. But I wanted to add a personal note on this post:
Personally I don’t consider sexual masochism and BDMS interactions a disorder. I enjoy and celebrate this community for being special and unique as it is. That said, let’s explore what psychology has to say about individuals who have sexual arousal on fetishes that are considered masochistic, more specifically fetishes around humiliation (as verbal humiliation) and dark fantasies related with personal ruin such as the “homewrecker” and “blackmail” fantasy.
So, who exactly is someone who has a fetish for humiliation?
You know you have a fetish for humiliation or a “sexual masochism “disorder”” when you have sexually arousing fantasies that have the potential to cause harm to you. Fantasies like: being beaten or humiliated, result in sexual satisfaction. In the context of female domination, you find sexual satisfaction in being laugh at the size of your penis, being beaten by a woman or being forced to dress as a woman.
Why do some people find sexual satisfaction in being humiliated?
Why some like to be humiliated and pay money for it? In a recent study, the most frequent reason has to do with the idea of giving or exchanging power with another person. Others say that this dynamic allowed them to enter into an alternative state of consciousness, this is also known as. “subspace” and I have written about it here.
What makes someone to have a fetish for being humiliated?
The experts have not being able to all agree on one root cause, but there are many theories for example:
- The thoughts on masochism originate when “inappropriate” sexual fantasies are forbidden, and become stronger as they are suppressed.
- The behavior is a form of escape from one’s thoughts and allows the practitioner to enter into a meditative state.
- Childhood trauma, such as sexual abuse/parental discipline can later make individuals associate with sexual practices that involve humiliation.
Fetish associated with Humilliation
Small Penis Humiliation or (SPH)
Is when a man gains sexual pleasure in being told (normally by a wife/girlfriend/Domme) that his penis is inadequate, and does not satisfy her.
CEI is cum eating instructions
Cum eating instruction (also known as CEI) is the activity of an individual being told by their Domme to consume their own cum.
Ignoring/abandonment fetish
Many submissives request a call on my niteflirt here to be ignored, they like to be ignored and are thrilled by the fact that I am listening on the other side of the line but non responsive because they are not worthy of my time. And off course they pay for putting me in a position where I am wasting my time.
Abandoning or ignoring a submissive is a psychological tool that plays into the fears of the submissive and can be very humiliating.
Bulling fetish
This fetish is in the category with a tone of Bratty/Princess, being very bratty already I can imagine what it was for a popular pretty smart girl like me had to deal with a guy like you in high school/college, and the only way of approach her was to be useful in some way (that meaning financially)
Flip off fetish
Some might be aroused by obscene gestures performed by a domme, for example: her giving the middle finger to them.
Sissification or forced feminization
An area of cross dressing where the submissive is forced into the act by the dominant, seemingly against his will. Forced feminization can go further than cross dressing and can also involve bodily shaving, make up and being ordered to act in a feminine manner at all times. As a goddess I cant leave my submissives without the experienced of being feminized by me, I have a video and an audio on sissification to fix your urges. Some play around this fetish might include: maid/sissy/slut training, and can include a material fetish such as pantyhose.
Cuckold fetish
Is a fetish that where the woman is engaging in sex with another man. Her own male partner, the cuck, is aware of this sexual relationship, and is sometimes a non-touching participant who derives pleasure from the degradation of seeing his partner be better satisfied with a more attractive and sexually competent male. A cuckold fetish is frequently considered a type of dominance/submission play.
Elements of the cuckold fetish
Hot wife
“hot wife” refers to a wife, or typically a partner of someone, who is allowed to have intimate relationships with others. For the male partner, it’s “humiliating, emasculating” and that leads them to have sexual satisfaction.
Bull
A bull/cuckold bull/swinger bull/alpha male (last one not only used for bulls) is the third party brought into a cuckold relationship, meant to have sex with one partner while the other partner feels both humiliated and turned on. A bull is generally seen as a more attractive, better endowed, sexually virile man with incredible sexual talents.The bull may also verbally humiliate the cuck while having sex with the hotwife, bragging about his abilities to please her better than the cuck can.
Sometimes the erotic factor of some fetishes is linked to situations where they are on risk of loosing what they have build and the people in their lives (such as wife, friends, reputation at work), I have put those fetishes below and called them:
Fetishes of erotic humiliation related to social embarrassment
Home-wrecking fetish
The idea behind this fetish is having a dynamic where the sub is constantly threatened by the dome (who in this case plays the role of a home wrecker) about the girlfriend or wife to find out that the sub has been cheating on her with another woman. Some might like to fantasize with the idea that the home wrecker is too powerful to resist, the fantasy involves her being “hotter”, or having “bigger boobs” or just better in a “sexual context”.
Ethical way?: I am the kind of domme who thinks that the ethical way to do these kind of fantasies, is having a clear communication on what the sub expects from this is role-play and the implications it might have on real life (even if some subs might think this ruins the fantasy).
Ruin fetish
Many slaves fantasize about the idea of ruin. In other words, that the pay pig will end up giving everything to the findom so that they have no money left to spend on rent, or for meals.
Blackmail fetish
Some findoms will demand personal details of their pay pigs and use these to blackmail their slaves, asking for increasingly large sums of money otherwise they will tell the pay pigs family and business colleagues about their fetish. This ‘consensual blackmail’ requires a high degree of trust between the pay pig and the financial domination. There is obviously the opportunity for the slave to be exploited in this situation. “Blackmail” is another fetish entangled with homewrecking fetish because both play with the idea of risking and loosing a life that from the outside might be taken for granted and seems kind monotonous and boring.
Humilliation in public settings
Play of humiliation in public settings is a fun thing to do (but also needs to be done ethically), even if there are many settings, the ones I enjoy the most are, for example, the “Dinner domination” setting, when a dominant exerts their control over a submissive in a dinner setting. This generally includes elements of public humiliation, including forcing a sub to wear panties or a butt plug for the duration of the meal, ordering for the sub, name calling in front of wait staff, or forcing the sub to drink urine in their water glass. I love to recreate scenarios on my audios like this settings.